I didn’t want to drift into old age. I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and realise that there was a load of unfinished business. On my death-bed I wanted to feel fulfilled and that my life-force had been used up. I wanted to age consciously and with a sense of purpose. Life was precious and I didn’t want to waste it.
However, my behaviour did not match my intentions. I found myself acting more from habit than from conscious intention. The news, the gossip, the sport, the distractions had become entrenched in my day to day living. I had little ‘free’ time for connecting with my life purpose because I was habitually scrolling through Instagram or watching a series on Netflix. I was living for the latest tit-bits of information – for a new insight into a celebrity or a politician. There was infinite variety, vanity and deception but not a lot of wisdom. And the continuous drama of 24 hour news added to the intensity and insanity to the point where I was starting to feel powerless.
The story I was telling myself was that I needed to stay in contact and that I needed to keep up - that social media was relevant to my life. I had to keep up to stay in the game, to stay relevant, but the apps and the tech was speeding up exponentially. I was convinced these tools were essential for my work, but the tools were using me rather than me using them. I actually wanted to slow down but I was ensnared in a web. I was caught in the world wide web like a helpless fly stuck to the cobweb. How could I possibly nurture a sense of purpose when I had become so dependent on the web's distractions? And it seemed that the addiction to social media was all around me - embedded in my environment. I need real community.
But I was determined not to drift into old age. I made a conscious effort to break habitual patterns. I started facilitating Ageing-into-Eldering workshops. Sometimes old habits and ways of thinking returned. I made efforts to deepen my connection to people and to Nature. Sometimes I despaired at my lack of progress. I started writing a journal and re-affirming my life’s purpose.
And here I am. Still on this journey. Looking for meaningful connection. I have not given up and in 2020 I'm aiming to build on the work we did this year with an emphasis on finding creative ways to free ourselves from habitual thoughts and behaviour than no longer serves us. We're aiming to run several workshops a month starting at the end of February.
If you've done a workshop and want to get involved, get in touch. If you haven't done a workshop, why not sign up for one?